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We're all just kids playing a part.  That's what it boils down to.

I'm the kid who gets to play hitman today.  The other kids, they're playing guard.  Hands in their pockets, feeling up their guns.  Makes them feel big.  Calms them down.  A security blanket in a holster.

That's what it boils down to.  Dressing for the part, having the right props.  If you're running around in your street clothes, you're a thug, a hood, a gangster.  You put on a ninety-dollar suit you picked up at Ross, and all the sudden you're a mobster, a wiseguy, paisano.

You're still just playing Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Thugs and Mafiosi.

Rule of three.  Say it enough times, and you'll convince yourself of it.

Look at yourself in the mirror, jacket and tie and shoulder holster.  Tell yourself, "I'm a badass."  Wash, rinse, repeat until it sticks.  Get into character and stand around, chest puffed out, one hand on your gun, one on your cock.

Repeat the lines you learned watching other people pretend to be thugs.  "Whachu lookin' at? Whadda I look like, annasshole?  Gedouttahere."

But when it comes down to it, you have no fucking idea what you're doing.  And to be fair, I don't either.  The only thing that I have apart is that I recognize that.  So pat me down, frisk me, run your hands all over me.  I don't carry a gun because I don't need one.  Because I wouldn't know what to do with it if I had one.

What it all boils down to is when you box yourself into that role you imagine, you stick yourself with its limitations.  You confine yourself to your gun and your suit.  You confine yourself to that role, that archetype, that little script you wrote in your head based on what you imagine thug life to be like.

You don't think twice when we make small talk about the coffee mug on your desk.  I used to work at a coffee bar, you know.  Don't mind if I take a swig of that?

You might be a little perturbed about the way I hold it, sure.  Who holds a mug with one finger over the handle, and one under?  Lets me feel the warmth better, I say, and you forget about it.  Sure, the thought crosses your mind, but you have a gun.  A guy comes at you with a coffee mug?  What do you look like, an asshole?

Thing is, despite all the insane shit the human body is capable of, it's still got its weak points.  If you're caught off guard, I don't care if you're a veteran, if you've climbed Everest, run marathons.  None of that shit matters.  An unexpected coffee mug to the temple is still going to give you a concussion.  A fist to your two front teeth is still going to send them down your throat.  And a paperweight, a stapler, a desk clock all have the same impact when they're coming at your face at eight meters per second.

We're all just kids playing dress up, but this is what I do for a living.  And I can pretend to murder you a lot more efficiently than you can pretend to be a badass.  And that's what it all boils down to.
[link]

This is a sketch.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-03-08
Charlie by ~AnonDesu Suggester Writes: A subtle yet powerful piece unfolds here, one that leaves readers wondering what 'side' they're on and seeing anew the descriptive strengths of a great writer. ( Suggested by xlntwtch and Featured by BeccaJS )
:icontokitone:
TokiTone Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"ninety-dollar suit from Ross."

Hey, I bought a $18 sport jacket at Ross. It's a couple on inches off what what I normally wear, but I did feel smooth.
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, hey, if it's a good jacket and a good fit, it doesn't matter where you got it.

It's just harder to find anything decent with a good fit at a discount place more often than not :P
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:icongnbman:
gnbman Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Student
Hitmen are always portrayed in films and videogames as efficient, unquestioning machines. Even when they run into trouble, they always immediately find a way out. However, you've got to wonder what kind of effect that lifestyle has on a human mind; I'm glad a good writer like you decided to explore the mind of a professional killer.
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, he wasn't a professional until halfway through. I think this was a combination of a lot of ideas I had that I was meaning to do differently - a dude noticing on his first professional hit that the least experienced guys were the ones who would be stroking their guns in their holsters, like just that's enough to protect them, and a local news story about a woman who allegedly bludgeoned her husband to death with a coffee mug.

The two worked together well enough. :P
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:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a very interesting piece... it really made me think.
Grats on the DD; it's completely well-deserved! :squee: :heart:
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, it did?

What's it got you thinking about, if you don't mind me asking?
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:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I have to say that it really made me think about the labels we put on people. Like how people see "thugs" as super tough, emotionless and steady people, when in actuality they could be scared and lack confidence. Or how you can see a "loving wife" I noticed the comment above mine XD as harmless or dependable, when really they could be murderers.
I had a program at school recently that studied stereotypes and labels, so that might be why I thought of it. But I think this piece really demonstrates the differences between the expectations and reality of people nowadays.
... If that made sense. *shot*
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, nah, that made total sense.

I think it's a case less of one of stereotypes and more like, one of roles. Like the way we cling to role to get us through life, expecting that, since this is your role, these are things you should know, these are things you should be able to do, this is how you should feel about the current situation.

When you think like that, you let your role get the better of you, and you stop thinking of yourself (and others) as people. That kind of, "Oh, I'm here now, I (should) know better" cuts both ways. Either you're overconfident, or under. You know what I'm getting at?

Because I'm totally talking out of my ass too :P
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:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I see exactly what you mean! XD
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:iconunsuspectingponce:
UnsuspectingPonce Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This is so boss. Sincerely.


But, uh... "take a swig"* ;p
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh lel

It's always the little ones you never notice :P Thanks for catching that :>
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:iconunsuspectingponce:
UnsuspectingPonce Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
No prob (:
And congrats on the DD!
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:iconikestrel:
iKestrel Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist
Wowo...
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:iconovermood:
overmood Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very well written
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:iconartemis151:
Artemis151 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
It all makes sense.. I think about this a lot
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, it seems to have struck a chord with a couple people.

Which part do you think about a lot?

(Hopefully not the murdering people with household objects part.)
Reply
:iconartemis151:
Artemis151 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
I really love the last 3 lines, by the way. They definitely send the point home.
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, I like them too. It kinda wrenches the whole thing out of the theoretical and brings it back to reality.
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:iconartemis151:
Artemis151 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013
Exactly :)
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:iconartemis151:
Artemis151 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
All of it really. We all make roles for ourselves to play. The good girl tries to practice being seductive in the mirror. The ten year old posts mature content on Facebook. It's all real. Real scary when you think about it. None of us actually knows who we are, we just know the role we play. And even those of us who think they know have no idea. You may know your name, beliefs, occupation, whatever... but who are you?
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I don't have a damn clue.

Who are you?
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:iconartemis151:
Artemis151 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013
I don't know :/
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:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I do! :dummy:
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:iconumbreon0:
Umbreon0 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so true
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I was about to ask which part :P
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:iconwge042995:
wge042995 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
Did anyone else feel the connection with Hobbes (we're all equalized by our ability to kill each other through means independent of strength)? xD
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, I wasn't planning on drawing a connection to Hobbes, but that's a theme I do dwell on a lot.

Violence is scary, yo.
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:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Woah.
This is fantastic. o.0
Reply
:iconamenarae:
Amenarae Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Whoa... :O_o:
I cannot express the amount of awe this inspired within me...

I would like to say that you, author, have earned my writer's respect. This piece... I could see it. The things you mentioned... Even the mug... I could just imagine the reaction on the person's face when they saw how the mug was held. I could see the wheels turning in their mind, and the uneasy transition to relaxation in their expression. I even imagined each of the described objects with their mentioned 'use'.

Thank you for expressing this so eloquently, it made my mind crave more until the end. Thank you... For writing this dangerously beautiful masterpiece...
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, I'm glad you could build so much from it.

I wasn't ever really focusing on the scene, I was more concerned with making the cadence work, and a lot of the central scene throws the cadence off a little.

Thanks for liking it so much, though. And the mad respect. I'll keep it in a neat little box.
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:iconamenarae:
Amenarae Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think the reason I could visualize it so well, is because that's (unfortunately) the type of stuff that goes through my mind. It's like reading my thought-process into a story! Whether or not it flowed with the cadence is irrelevant to how it flowed with me~

And, please, keep that 'mad respect' in check. It might get the better of me if it ever escapes that box. XD
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, that's part of the cadence, I feel. It's not quite stream of consciousness, but it has a very spontaneous rhythm to it. Because it's so sparse, it relies more on transitions than as sentences as complete thoughts.

What stuff goes through your mind that's so unfortunate? :P
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:iconamenarae:
Amenarae Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The weaponry usage of any item. It's a blessing and a curse.
It could mean my survival, but if I ever go crazy and murderous, it would mean death to those around me. I'd probably be a scary person to face in a survival situation.
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah, I doubt you're gonna go crazy and murderous. Because even if you did, swiping the nearest weapon at hand is only good for the moment. It mostly works because it's unexpected.

But yeah, if we're scrambling for the same cash-laden lifeboat, that could be an issue.
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:iconamenarae:
Amenarae Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I doubt it would be a problem. I'd be more inclined to steal the lifeboat from you than the money.
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Pfft, more for me.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconleoholman:
LeoHolman Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
hahaha, that is hilariously powerful! I love how you use yourself with a coffee cup as a metaphor for gangsters, and the part where you compared someone who might approach you with a coffee mug instead of a gun, and saying, "What do you look like, an asshole" made me LOL! Thanks for this and I must say, it's a great way to give your view of gun violence and possession.
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Because I'm totally curious, what's your interpretation of the whole thing?
Reply
:iconleoholman:
LeoHolman Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013
Well, this work is esp. beautiful in that there is more than one interpretation.
The most prominent interpretation is the fierce idea that we make false-representations of whom we really are, and when push comes to shove, everyone is just living their lives without truly knowing what they are.

My interpretation of this work, on the other hand, really focused on the habituation of people using guns as a means to boost their egos or confidence, when in reality common people like ourselves don't need guns to be a confident people; a coffee cup and a healthy imagination would suffice.

With that said, this is a truly artful piece because the viewer can relate in multiple ways... You are skilled writer; good job!
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah. Interesting. Pretty close to what I was thinking, actually. I totally thought you meant something a lot more political at first :P

I'm a big fan of the whole death of the author school of thought, so yeah, things that are open to interpretation however you want it is always great. I think the biggest part of art is being able to draw your own conclusions, being able to piece together your own special meaning to everything that's just yours. It stops being a one-way road, and starts being, almost like, a discussion, you know?

This kinda sprung out of a thought I had about the dude noticing how the less experienced you were, the more you relied on your weapon as a crutch. The way you'd be able to notice who was armed by the way they always kept their hands on their hip pocket or in their jacket, kept checking to make sure it was there. It's a really just a more masculine, more grown-up version of the security blanket. Because God knows, drop me off somewhere dark and creepy with a gun, I'm gonna be clinging to that thing like nothing else, you know?

The more nervous you are, the less confidence you have in yourself, the more you rely on external factors, on the character you're supposed to be playing, more on the props you're given.

Thanks for the thoughtful comments, though. That shit's just damn hard to come by :>

(And sorry it always takes me forever to reply :<)
Reply
:iconryanisnasty:
ryanisnasty Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
I really enjoyed reading this, it left me speechless at the amazing talent within your writing.
I look forward to reading more by you, congratulations on the well deserved DD!
:huggle:
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:iconsilverauratiffany:
SilverAuraTiffany Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
very well deserved dd; i really enjoyed reading this piece! :'D
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:iconenigma1315:
Enigma1315 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome.
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:iconadrienne-paynter:
adrienne-paynter Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
So cool!
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:iconthethirdtwinwins:
TheThirdTwinWins Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
...I don't even...find words to describe how much I like this...
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:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Those words work fine :>
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:iconlfbeta16:
LFBeta16 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013   General Artist
Outstanding. O.O
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:iconcandyknickerbocker:
CandyKnickerbocker Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
Great piece, and doesn't it just apply to all of us, children in adult bodies?
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Nobody ever really knows what they're doing. If they tell you otherwise, that's a damned lie.
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :heart:
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