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:iconanondesu: More from AnonDesu




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July 12, 2009
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Having found that most alcohol was just too weak, Yukari took a swig of her canister of jet fuel as she rapped on the door with her parasol.  Twenty seconds and a loud crash or six later, Orin smiled as she opened the door, running a hand through her recently mussed up hair.

“Hello, Miss Sat-oh…Miss Yukari, I mean.” She gave a bow before continuing.  “What brings you over at a time like this?”

“Ran and I were about to head out on some errands and were wondering if you could watch Chen for us,” Yukari answered.  “Jet fuel?”

“No thank you, Miss.  I’m fine as I am.”

“Suit yourself,” Yukari said, emptying the canister and tossing it in the road.  “Come on, Ran, let’s go.”

Ran sighed and handed a bubble-wrapped Chen over.  “No sweets, don’t let her run in the street, don’t let her run in the house, actually, don’t let her run at all, don’t let her climb out the window, don’t let her climb on tables, don’t let her climb on bookcases, don’t let her near sharp objects, don’t let her near blunt objects, don’t let her near stoves or electrical outlets, don’t let her near things that might fall, don’t let her play with anything she might choke on, make sure she gets a nap at three, don’t le-“

“Ran!  Let’s go!”  Yukari called.  The driveway was littered with empty cans of jet fuel.

“Just be careful with her, okay?”

“I will,” Orin smiled again.

The two of them waved as Ran ran to catch up before jumping into a gap.

“Why aren’t you wearing any pants, Miss Orin?” Chen asked.

-

“You’re a very bad wrestler, Miss Orin,” Chen said, helping her clean up.

“Hm?” Rin tossed a cement boot into the closet.  “I don’t really ever wrestle.”

“You were on the bottom the whole time,” Chen smiled.  “Miss Yukari was watching.  Miss Yukari needs a new skirt.  She had to keep fixing it the whole time she was watching.  I think she’s going to the doctor because she was sick and kept turning red and biting her lip.”

“Oh, right,” Rin smiled, straightening the sheets.  “I do sometimes.  Once in a while.  Could you tell Miss Yukari to stop watching?”

“Miss Yukari let me try some of her juice,” Chen smiled.  “It tasted really bad and made me throw up a lot.  Mommy didn’t like that, so Miss Yukari made her clean it up.”

“Really.”

“And then Miss Yukari told Mommy that she had been bad and she started biting her ears and pulling her tails and grabbing her boobs and Mommy said not to do that in front of me and can I play with this?”  She held up an arm cannon.

“Maybe later,” Rin said back, sliding a box under her bed.  “Why don’t you give that to me for now?”

“Sometimes Miss Yukari lets me play with things she brings in from the outside world.  They’re really loud and make really big explosions like fireworks.  And then Miss Reimu comes over and yells at us for a while, so Miss Yukari gives her candy so she’ll go away.  Her candy comes in one of those needles that Dr. Yagokoro gives me shots in.  I don’t like getting shots, so I don’t think I’d like Miss Reimu’s candy,” Chen said, pulling the closet door open.

“Great, Chen, want to do something?” Rin grabbed her and pulled her back.

“Yes!” Chen shouted.

“Like what?”

“Yes!” Chen shouted.

“No, I mean, what do you want to do?”

“Yes!” Chen shouted.

“Mm, do you want to make burgers?” Rin ventured.

“Yes!” Chen shouted.

-

“Alright,” Rin said, running Chen through Gensokyo in her wheelbarrow.  “The first thing we need to do is go shopping for ingredients.  Got that?”

“Whee!” Chen shouted, standing up.

“Don’t stand up, Chen, you’ll fall out,” Rin said, doing nothing to stop her.  “See, the best meat come from the best corpses.  You need fresh ones, not ones who’ve been in the ground for a few days.”

“Whee!” Chen shouted, standing up.

“I told you to sit down, Chen.  If you fall out, you’ll hurt yourself,” Rin said, doing nothing to stop her.  “First, we’ll stop by and see if anybody has any left overs, alright?  Do you know the way there, Chen?”

“Whee!” Chen shouted, falling out.

-

“Hiiiiiiiiii,” Rin smiled, “I’m teaching Chen how to cook burgers.”

“Miss Yukari likes burgers,” Chen said from behind her, holding an ice-pack on her head.

“You wouldn’t have any corpses left over, would you?”

The door slammed.

-

“Hiiiiiiiiii,” Rin smiled, “I’m teaching Chen how to cook burgers.”

“Miss Yukari likes burgers,” Chen said from behind her, holding an ice-pack on her head.

“You wouldn’t have any corpses left over, would you?”

The door slammed.

-

“Hiiiiiiiiii,” Rin smiled, “I’m teaching Chen how to cook burgers.”

“Miss Yukari likes burgers,” Chen said from behind her, holding an ice-pack on her head.

“You wouldn’t have any corpses left over, would you?”

The door slammed.

-

“Hiiiiiiiiii,” Rin smiled, “I’m teaching Chen how to cook burgers.”

“Miss Yukari likes burgers,” Chen said from behind her, holding an ice-pack on her head.

“You wouldn’t have any corpses left over, would you?”

The door slammed.

-

“Alright,” Orin smiled, pushing Chen around in her wheelbarrow.  “That idea didn’t work out so well.  Do you know where we can find some corpses?”

“Miss Reimu has a lot of corpses.  Whenever there are people on her lawn, she hits them on the head with a pipe to make them.  And sometimes she hits people who aren’t on her lawn.  She tried to hit me, one time.  It was fun except for the part when she hit me.”

“Well, in that case,” Rin said, turning the wheelbarrow around,”To Reimu’s it is.”

“Whee!” Chen shouted, standing up.

-

“Hiiiiiiiiii,” Rin smiled, “I’m teaching Chen how to cook burgers.”

“Miss Yukari likes burgers,” Chen said from behind her, holding an ice-pack on her head.

“You wouldn’t have any corpses left over, would you?”

“I have a couple dozen in the basement,” Reimu said.

Orin and Chen smiled.  Reimu stared back at them.

“So,” Rin smiled, “Could we have some?”

“Nope,” Reimu answered, pulling out her lead pipe.

“Whee!” Chen shouted, standing up.

-

“Alright, so that was a bad idea too,” Rin said, refilling Chen’s ice pack.

“Do you think we won’t be able to make burgers?” Chen asked.  “Miss Yukari doesn’t like it when she doesn’t get to do what she wants to.  Sometimes she- Hiiii!  My name is Chen!  Who are you?”

“Hm?” the girl passing by paused.  “I’m Nazrin, nice to meet you.  You haven’t seen any water around here, have you?”

“Nope,” Chen smiled.  “Have you seen any corpses?”

“No,” Nazrin smiled.  “I haven’t.”

“I have,” Rin smiled back.

-

“That was a good idea!” Chen smiled as she ate her burger.  “Miss Yukari likes good ideas.  When she gets them, Mommy yells at her a lot because they aren’t really that good.  But then Miss Yukari takes her into the other room and then a few hours later, Mommy agrees.  And then Miss Reimu comes by to yell at Miss Yukari, so she has to get her more candy.”

“Mmhmm,” Rin smiled.  “And what else does Miss Yukari like?”

They left the grill on.
I haven't written anything to up in a while, so I decided to finish this piece. It kinda sucks :\ Really dialogue based, too, so. Would probably work better as a comic or something. Should get back to writing real stuff to up.

Touhou and all affiliated characters, concepts, and locations are intellectual property of Zun, etc etc.
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:iconendsky:
Endsky Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I kept laughing xD
'tis very good <3
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Professional Writer
Well, I'm glad I could get you to laugh :3
Reply
:iconbadgerflight:
badgerflight Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
XDXD Chen is so innocent!
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2011  Professional Writer
I'd be worried if she wasn't :V
Reply
:iconbadgerflight:
badgerflight Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Same, same. :3
Reply
:iconpywackett-barchetta:
Pywackett-Barchetta Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2010
Somehow, Yukari drinking actual jet fuel, as in fuel for jets, seems hilariously plausible.
Y'know, considering she does whatever the hell she wants.
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2010  Professional Writer
She's wild!
Reply
:iconmatanui3:
Matanui3 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2010
WAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!
TO MUCH SILLY! MY HEAD ASPLODE AND FELL ON THE SHIFT KEYY!!!!!!
:iconchenplz:
Reply
:iconanondesu:
AnonDesu Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2010  Professional Writer
You might want to get that checked out. It might be something serious.
Reply
:iconnaturesrose:
NaturesRose Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I wanna try Reimu's candy :dummy: !!
Reply
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